Quote of the Day

“Men, your primary responsibility in your home, after your wife, is you to disciple your own children. And if you don’t do it, you’re in sin; you are in sin. And if you turn it over to a Sunday school teacher, you are in sin. And you are to be teaching these children more than just stories about animals that went into Noah’s ark. You’re to be teaching them about God, about radical depravity, about blood atonement, about propitiation, expiation, justification, sanctification; you are to teach your children!”

– Paul Washer

Fathers Stop Stealing From Your Children

Nathan Bingham writes to fathers who are raising families in this busy and distracting world and tells them to give their children the time they need and deserve. He says many fathers are guilty of stealing from their children:

“You’re guilty when you skip breakfast with the family to prepare for that early morning meeting, when you’re distant at the dinner table because you’re resolving an issue at work in a long email conversation on your smartphone, and when you forfeit a healthy family night-time ritual because you’ve got something important to do—like write a blog post.”

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A Black Book or A Black Phone?

From David Murray:

What captures the attention of toddlers and infants most at Disneyworld? The costumes? The animations? The rides? The toys?

Nope, none of these things. According to a recent study, it’s their parents cellphones! Kare Anderson, one of the researchers, comments:

Those kids clearly understood what held their parents’ attention — and they wanted it too. Cell phones were enticing action centers of their world as they observed it. When parents were using their phones, they were not paying complete attention to their children.

Among Anderson’s conclusions are:

1. Giving undivided attention is the first and most basic ingredient in any relationship.
2. Whatever we pay attention to has a huge effect on how we see the world and feel about it.
3. Others know what’s the center of our attention and thus what controls our life.

I have very little memory of my grandmother on my Dad’s side, but the one thing I do remember from my vacation visits to her home in the Scottish Highlands, and from her year of staying with us in the lowlands, is that a large black book had her full attention.

When my kids look back on my life I hope they see that what had my attention and controlled my life was a black book. Not a black phone.

Inspire Generations

Psalm 145:4

One generation will commend your works to another;
they will tell of your mighty acts.

When Your Son Asks

Deuteronomy 6:20–21:When your son asks you in time to come, "What is the meaning of the testimonies and the statutes and the rules that the Lord our God has commanded you?" then you shall say to your son, "We were Pharaoh’s slaves in Egypt. And the Lord brought us out of Egypt with a mighty hand."

Charles Spurgeon:

Fathers and mothers are the most natural agents for God to use in the salvation of their children. I am sure that, in my early youth, no teaching ever had such an impression upon my mind as the instruction of my mother; neither can I conceive that, to any child, there can be one who will have such influence over the young heart as the mother who has so tenderly cared for her offspring.

We should especially tell our children our own experience… Perhaps, my friend, there is no testimony that you can bear which will be so useful, so interesting and so striking, as the testimony of what you have, yourself, seen and handled of the Word of Life.

Tell the gospel as you find it in the Bible, but set it in the frame of your own experience of its preciousness! Tell your son how you sinned and how the Lord had mercy upon you. Tell him how he met with you, how you were brought to seek his face, how you were born again, how you received a new heart and a right spirit. He will think the more of this great change because it happened to his father, or to his mother, or to some kind friend. And, perhaps, if he is not himself converted as a child, in his later life he may think of what you told him or the remembrance of his mother’s God may rise before him when he is far away from the scenes of his youth and has spent many years in foolish vanities — and he may even then turn to God, beckoned back to the great Father’s House above by the memory of his godly father and mother here below.

-Charles Spurgeon "Brought Out to be Brought In."

How Do You Discern the Conversion of a Child?

From Brian Croft at Practical Shepherding:

There are commonly 2 extremes as we all wrestle with this question. The first is the careless lack of discernment of many churches who have an alter call for 4-5 year olds, ask them to raise their hand if they love Jesus, then baptize them as converted followers of Jesus. The other extreme often results from the carelessness of the first.

This extreme prevents both parents and pastors to be willing to affirm whether or not a child is truly converted until they are adults and are completely independent of their parent’s authority and care. I believe a middle ground must be approached if we truly desire to discern clear biblical evidence that a child, teenager, or young adult has become a new creature in Christ.

Knowing we are not God and cannot see the heart, I believe there are still evidences we can see and know to help us discern a child or teenager’s conversion in a similar way we try to do the same with adults. In the spirit of Jonathan Edward’s 5 signs of true conversion, here are 5 evidences that I try to use as a template as both a parent and pastor in wrestling with this issue.

1) A growing affection and need for Jesus and the gospel.

2) A heightened understanding of the truths of Scripture.

3) An increased kindness and selflessness towards siblings.

4) A greater awareness and distaste for sin.

5) A noticeable desire to obey parents.

In my experience as both a parent and a pastor, I have found that age is not the most important gauge to determine true conversion, but to genuinely look for these evidences in an age appropriate manner. For example, we need to know that a child has a clear understanding of the gospel. However, that will be articulated by a 10 year old differently than it should a 16 year old. A desire to obey parents and a selfless spirit towards siblings will also show up differently in a 10 year old than they will in a 16 year old.

Nevertheless, they must be present in some way and I would strongly discourage any pastor or parent to affirm a child’s conversion without some kind of tangible evidence apart from their verbal profession. On the flip side, I would also caution you from falling into the trap I have in the past in regard to demanding more from a child than can be observed.

This is tricky ground I realize. So much as a pastor must be approached on a case by case basis. Many of us will be all around the spectrum, but the one takeaway from this post is be mindful to avoid the extremes that do exist on both sides. Find I nice seat in the shade somewhere in the middle as a starting point. Then, be wise, assess honestly, and pray that the merciful God who does regenerate adults, teenagers, and even children give you much discernment.